I must confess, I've been pretty angry this week. I hadn't been able to figure out why things that I would usually sail through with flying colors made me so angry these past few days.
I could always chalk it up to stress, that time of the month, Really Annoying People (RAP)...and I bet all of those had something to do with it. :)
However, I started thinking tonight on the fifth day of cheerleading myself to stardom, that it might be the cheerleading itself that is generating my anger. Maybe I believe that if I am a great person and worthy of cheerleading, I should be treated like a great person who is worthy of cheerleading? Does that make any sense? It seems that I'm getting irritated with everyone else for not realizing how great I am, like I'm feeling entitled to a certain type of treatment. One might say that cheerleading has made me self-righteous to believe that I deserve better than working hard all day only to be yelled at because I didn't finish something. To believe that I deserve better than working hard all day and realizing that I have no plans for the weekend because I have very few friends at this time. Etc, etc...
So tomorrow I try to find the perspective in which I am a spectacular person, but that doesn't entitle me to anything. I don't want to be a martyr -- thinking that I am spectacular it's just that nobody knows it yet. I don't want to be bitter -- thinking why doesn't anyone know I'm spectacular? I want to be happy even if I am the only one who knows that I am spectacular.
...and to play a drinking game with the word "spectacular" :)
Does anyone else have this issue? How do you know that you are wonderful through and through without letting it make you feel entitled?
I feel so proud of myself for figuring this out...what has made you proud of yourself this week?
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1 comment:
You are just too good for your own good at cheerleading yourself. jk. I think you were in the right on that scheduling thing, but I think in general people are more concerned with their own problems than being considerate of others. Like in this task of making sense of everyone's availability, they probably just wanted to get the job done even if it was sloppy. Be more specific so you cant have any liability. Use your courtroom skills.
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